Throughout history it has oft been thought that women are some faulty image of men. The male scientists of the middle ages thought that the vagina was an inverse of a penis, while other cultures have historically deemed women to be “half of a man”. But what did these geniuses think of boobs? Women have them, men don’t. In fact, all men have is two pickish-red buttons attached to a flat chest of hair.

 Nipples on men have absolutely no purpose. No baby will ever suckle on them, no milk will ever squeeze out of those bad boys. So why do males have these faulty body parts? 

 Many believe that male nipples are evolution gone haywire, or perhaps God’s original thermostat to light up when it gets cold, but as fun as that idea is, it isn’t exactly true.

 From conception in the womb until about 14 weeks, all human foetuses look the same, irrespective of sex. It is only 14 weeks after fertilization that genetically-male foetuses (with one Y chromosome) start churning out male specific hormones, such as testosterone. The production of these hormones turn the foetus into a strapping fella because testosterone, amongst other things, inhibits the development of breasts, and encourages the clitoris to develop into a penis.

 Unfortunately, by this time it is too late! By 14 weeks nipples have already been formed, and there is nothing you boys can do about it but look down every so often and think – What could have been…